ARIEL

In the world of Competitive Furniture Assembly, there can be only one champion.

Veteran “Screws Loose” Ariel dominates in categories ranging from Wifi-Enabled Treadmill to Bunk Bed. Coach Bob Loblaw credits her success with her “freakish” brute strength and maniacal attention to detail. When asked to quote on her success, Screws Loose responded “I get inspiration from the wisdom of the great philosopher, Vanilla Ice… ‘If you got a problem, yo – I’ll solve it!'”

In the off-season, Screws Loose cross-trains by operating the back office for a digital media agency.